Low self-esteem can lead to a greater value being placed on the lives of others than your own. Low self-esteem is a reflection of how you see yourself and not how you view others. A woman who doesn't like what she sees in her mirror is more likely to seek validation from someone else. She can take control of someone else's life and try to make that person happy. She can see another person lower than her own. She has never had the chance to reflect on her own shortcomings because she is so focused on the person she is enabling. She is now too fixated on the enabler and makes excuses for bad behavior, rather than holding them accountable for what they do.
Low self-esteem can cause feelings of worthlessness, which is a part of the definition. However, it can also lead to destructive behavior. For the enabler, it is a problem because they are unable to say no. I was among a group of women in prison who had low self-esteem and were unable to say no. Some women were enablers, while others were enabled. Women who were enablers often had drug dealer boyfriends or pimps whom they supported. They made excuses for him every day, perpetuating their bad behavior. Women who were allowed were often the daughters of a controlling parent, father, or other family member, who excused their bad behavior.
It was often a mystery to me why women would choose to live in one-sided relationships and give up their freedom. However, I have done the exact same thing with a different partner. It was because, generally speaking, women have been socialized to be self-destructive in order to benefit men. The lives of the women that I met in prison are my proof.
If you feel low self-esteem, self-reflection can be a great place to begin. As you begin your journey to healing, consider the following questions What Is Self-reflection
How do you see yourself as a strong person? Are you able to demonstrate all of these qualities or just a few?
Give a description of yourself. Write down all your positive and negative qualities. Do you have any suggestions?
Do not be afraid to ask questions. You are on the journey to wholeness.
